It is not the topic being discussed in class that determines whether or not our conversations are moral. It is the amount of respect shown in the conversation that makes it moral. All the time. Every time.

Conversation can be rough when we are engaged in religious education with young people, especially when we try to “turn up the heat” needed to drive them out of the comfortable logic of their minds and into the mind of others…the mind of Christ…the mind of the Church.                                                                       

Teaching For Discipleship hinges on how much respect is shown within our catechetical conversations.

Years ago, students would describe their favorite high school teacher by saying something like “Mr./Mrs. _________ really cares about us.”

Today, they almost always describe their favorite teacher with something like “Mr/Mrs _______ really cares for us and respects us.”

Showing kids respect doesn’t mean coddling, tiptoeing, or bending over backwards to befriend them. Ask them to describe their favorite coach and they will reveal how they want us to treat them.

Our conversations with young people can be highly emotional, deeply spiritual, politically charged, justice oriented, challenging, humorous, and deeply humanitarian- without ever being disrespectful.

Teaching For Discipleship requires us to go “deeper sooner” in our conversations with students. They are grateful when we do. Words matter. But our tone of voice, our facial expressions, the way we handle disagreement, and how we ask open and honest questions instead of manipulative ones also determine if students will go there with us.

Silence is also a big part of it.

In her book, Fierce Conversations (Berkley Books), Susan Scott reminds us that providing silence after someone speaks is a way of making sure that person is heard. And the more emotion behind one’s words, the more silence they deserve. In Teaching For Discipleship, our artful and soulful use of silence indicates of our ability to hear, validate, and protect all the voices in the classroom.

Conversation is a moral act by the way we engage in it.

All the time.

Every time.